pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize