Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize