Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
