I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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