im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
