Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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