I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
