I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
