VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
