woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
false alarm, still single
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
