I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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