did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
