i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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