how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that's an acceptable place to lick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
