I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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