I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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