i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
