Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
