Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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