i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
