3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
