yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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