i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
