i was born a porn star she said
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can I color on your dick again?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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