So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
