wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
