Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize