i would punch a child for taco bell
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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