when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
