I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
