Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
