But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize