I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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