the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize