I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
