ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
