what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
