I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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