If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
