the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
