I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
