U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize