Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
