Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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