Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize