if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nicole vs. Life
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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