I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
