I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
