i barfeds in our rink
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
