So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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