i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
