New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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