I have demons in me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize