You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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