Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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