Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
