Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
