how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
