STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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