i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
