Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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