So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
