she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
