the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
