I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
