Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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